Dizzy for Dragonflies

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

November 2017

Snow is always beautiful at the beginning of winter.

Discovered that mice got into my old school books and notebooks. I had about 1 box left to keep after cleaning out the badly damaged stuff. So many years of work (12 years in all!), gone in a moment.

A scene in preschool.

I helped host a movie night at school.

Waiting for Darcy outside dance class.

Fall moments in the garden.

A day in the life of a sub. I replaced the gym teacher on Friday (Nov 10) and injured my foot. This was taken on Sunday (Nov 12), as I started to be able to at least limp around. It's about 10 weeks later and I still have a lot of pain in my foot. I can walk, with a slight limp or sometimes none. It takes a few minutes to walk properly after being seated or sleeping. Also, I have to wear shoes in the house most of the time and can only wear shoes with good support now. No more cute sandals. 😢 I suspect a rupture or very bad tear of the plantar fascia, again!

For Thursday - I mean it

I love animals. All animals, except cockroaches, I really don't like those. And some humans.

After some undesirable gestures and some purely unacceptable comments towards my dog, Thursday, this summer I intend to get or make a sign like this and post it where everyone can see it.

Thursday is a quirky, weird, high strung dog. I know people like that and no one threatens to do the things to them they want to do to my dog. I bet those people, both the quirky and the rude, haven't been through half of what Thursday has been through.

I'd growl and bare my teeth, too, if I lost all of my family within 18 months and been taken from my home. No warning, no explanation and I suspect it's hard for her to look at her home everyday and not be able to go there. Thursday is very fortunate that a loving, tolerant family that was familiar to her took her in, but it's still not easy. She never lived with a cat before, let alone 3, and then there's the birds, too. On top of that, just as she was getting used to our habits and routines, we all moved to another house for a few weeks! So yeah, she can be in a bad mood sometimes. She is getting used to us and to our guests. We're training her and LOVING her to teach her to trust us.

Thursday and Clover on the bed at the same time and they are not fighting!

Thursday doesn't look too happy about it, but she is tolerating it.

We are learning, too. I had one dog in my life and I wasn't at home about 80% of the time, so my mom looked after her. Kevin had one dog in his life. We are not experts, but we ask questions and do our research. We have learned that she is fearful in the dark, maybe because she can't see well in the dark, and that causes her to be on guard. She will growl, snarl, or even snap at anything that startles her. Now we know that when we are at the bonfire at night with her, you have to make sure she can see you before you touch her.

We have learned that she is very protective. If someone is holding her or she is sitting on someone's lap, she will protect that person, so don't touch them, their chair or the dog! This is not a desirable trait, but again we are working on it with the people she loves and trusts.

We have learned that she doesn't like feet and will snap at them, especially near her food dish. So the food dish is as out of the way as possible to avoid this, but we can't stop walking around the rest of the place! We have been working on showing her nice feet. Touching her gently with our feet, teaching her "footsie" (which is to give her paw, but on an outstretched foot instead of a hand), and Darcy has even been able to pet her with her foot. Progress!

I am impressed with the changes in her in less than a year. When she was our neighbor she could not be trusted off leash, but now she is regularly off leash in our back yard, which is not completely closed in. She walks off leash with us to the car, to bring out the garbage, to get the mail, etc. She comes when she's called. Her protectiveness used to extend to the whole couch or the whole bed, but that is almost gone now. She still has her moments, but we are all learning what works and what doesn't, and as such we need your cooperation, too. So when we ask you not to touch her with your foot, it's because we don't want to undo all the progress we've made, we don't want her to get hurt and maybe we don't want you to get hurt, either!

Watching a movie with Thursday. Don't touch me!

I have made a commitment to her and spiritually to Dave to look after her, and I intent to honour it, so if you don't like it, don't come over. As my mom would say, if you don't like my gate, don't swing on it!

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Marc

On Saturday, October 28 I received a private message from an old friend that simply said I should call her, with her number, and that it was about Marc. I looked at the message, not really reading it, but just kind of stared at it. I stared because it was unexpected. I stared because I knew what it was about, but I wanted to be wrong. I wanted to re-read it and have it say something different, but I knew it wouldn't.

That was around 11 in the morning. I used the excuse that I had to taxi Darcy around all day to avoid calling - because I knew. Finally my taxiing was done, but supper had to be made! Again, avoiding that call. Kevin was helping and finally I just couldn't put it off any longer and I made the call around 6:00.

Nathalie gave me the tragic news that Marc had passed away on Thursday, October 26. Marc, the Marc that I once loved, had taken his own life.

I learned that Marc was single and did not have any children.

I cannot say I was surprised by his suicide, but I was - I am - deeply saddened by it. When we went our separate ways in 2005 all I wanted for him was to live his life and be happy. Clearly, he was not.

The above notice was posted on FB by his closest friends and his mom, Francine. I was happy to see that he was still close with JF and Audree. One of the pictures they shared with the post (the above picture) was one I took in ~2000 in our apartment on Atwater.

July 2004.

Angie, Audree, JF and Marc. Marc and JF shared the same birthday, July 10, 1975.

Then I found this posted:

A gathering would take place for Marc's family and friends to say goodbye.

I suppose I could have changed my plans for the next day and paid my respects, but , no I couldn't. It was too sudden. Marc had been gone from my life for over ten years. That didn't mean I didn't still think of him, we even communicated the odd time via PM, but I kind of felt I didn't have the right to go; didn't have the right to be sad because I chose not have him in my life. Nathalie told me people asked about me. Some people I hadn't spoken to for over a decade found me via Facebook and sent me messages and called. Despite the circumstances, it has been great to re-connect with these people.

1999 - Charla and Paul's wedding

Our trip to BC in 2000

Here is what I posted:

October 30, 2017 12:09 a.m.

I can’t believe it.

Marc was a big part of my life. That decade was a crooked, bumpy road with many wrong turns, but sometimes we took flight (figuratively and literally) and went on some great adventures.

We may not have seen each other for many years, but we communicated occasionally and he will never be forgotten.

My deepest sympathy goes out to his mom, his many aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. May he finally find the peace he was looking for.

Take flight, Marc, and go on your greatest adventure yet.

This goofy pic was taken on our Universal Studios Hollywood adventure, 2002.

It took time for me to reach out to Marc's mom. I was told I could contact her via FB messenger, so I sat down to write something to her. It took me 2 hours to find what I hope were the right words. What do you say to a mom who lost her son? Really, what?

Las Vegas, 2002

(This was when I was living in Riverside, CA and Marc came to visit me for a week in the summer. We took a weekend trip to Las Vegas.)

It took me 5 nights to finally get a night's sleep. That first night I was up all night, my mind flooded with memories of our trips, of studying together at John Abbott, watching 9/11 live on TV together, airplane museums, so many airplane museums!

Marc took this picture of me at the National Museum of Aviation in 1999

Cape Hateras, North Carolina 2004

While we were in North Corolina, we of couse visited the Wright Brothers museum in Kitty Hawk.

Marc took this picture at The Museum of Flight in Seattle, 2002.

Then my imagination kept sleep at bay. Day and night I was plagued by visions of his final days, hours, moments. I still get horrible visions, but less so. I feel for any human being suffering, and this was a human being I once loved. The thoughts of his anguish, the decision-making process and his ending are disturbing. I have to just keep reminding myself he is at peace.

Please, my friends and family, please know that my door is always open. No questions asked. I can't guarantee you a peaceful, calm setting because it's kind of a zoo around here, but it is warm and safe here. You can talk my ear off or sit and just be. If you don't want to talk to me, we have 3 cats, 2 birds and a dog who always listen and rarely talk back. I know my way around the kitchen and you will be fed and served coffee (or a beer!); I may not have much, but we can share it. If you are far away, my "door" can be a call, a text, an email...don't be afraid to reach out. Someone is listening. You are not alone.

Driving home from Riverside, Marc and Tigger in my Integra. November 2002.

They are both gone, now.

Marc

July 10, 1975 - October 26, 2017

Tigger

May 1, 2000 - July 14, 2016

Rest in peace, Marc.

Friday, November 17, 2017

October 2017

The gorgeous view on my walk to work.

Movie night at school!! I volunteer on the parent - fundraising committee and at virtually every event! This night we watched The Emoji movie on a big screen in the gym. A parent made popcorn, bagged it, and put these cute napkins on each one for the kids.