Tribute to Tigger (June 21, 2016)

Cancer sucks, even for pets! 

I noticed a sore on Tigger's lip mid-May.

I know he fights with his brother and gets little scabs, so I didn't think anything of it. He was acting normal. At that time I was really in end-of-the-school-year crunch. There were field trips to prepare for for both kids, Girl Guide outings, field trips for my own class, opening the cottage, my gardening clients to take care of, the closing ceremony movie to make for preschool, not to mention the daily grind of a family of 4 and my 2 normal jobs at school. So... by June 21, my last day of work at school, and Tigger was getting worse, I took him to the vet.

He looks perfectly adorable, but the left side of his face was slightly swollen.

The vet examined him and diagnosed the big C...cancer. Wide spread cancer. OMG! The vet and I agreed that for a 16 year old cat it did not make sense to do invasive and costly treatments.

To make matters worse, Darcy had not been feeling well when I finished preschool, so I picked her up and she was with me at the vet. She heard the diagnosis and the prognosis that without treatment Tigger has at best a few months to live. The poor child was devastated. I forced myself to be strong for her and managed to keep my tears at bay until later that day. 

On June 23 I brought Tiggie up to the lake, his favourite place. He was allowed to drink lake water out of the bathtub and roam around outside, with supervision. 

June 26, Danny and Tiggie

July 5, the swelling is more noticable.

You can see the raw-looking skin here. By this time I could feel lumps in his neck. The tumours were growing very quickly.

Brothers, July 10 (Kevin and my Anniversary, by the way. 9 years!). The bump is bigger and moving down his neck making his voice change.

July 12, Tiggie watching Darcy in HIS bathtub. He was not having a good day. I had to put his food bowl in the bathtub to get him to eat a bit. 

Tigger jumped off the living room chair to come and eat, but some how landed on or tripped on a doll stroller. Then he was mad at me, ran away from me with his mouth bleeding and refused to eat. He finally ate some cheese and some left over fish, which he loved. I was worried it would make him sick, but at this point I figured I might as well spoil him.

I sat on the couch and he came and lay down next to me and purred. I was so relieved he wasn't shying away anymore. I treasured the moment knowing there wouldn't be many more. 

It is so hard to have the responsibility to choose the day that will be his last. I knew it would be any day, but how would I pick a day?? Waiting too long meant letting him suffer, but what if I cut his life short? 

July 13: enjoying a drink in the tub.

July 13: you can really see his face is misshapen now. My poor baby. He stopped eating today and hid under the bed, which he never does. Both are signs the vet told me to watch for, signs of distress and failing health. I made the dreaded call today. 

I slept on the couch with Tigger when ever he wasn't in the bathtub. 

July 14: his last walk outside. 

Today is the day. Mom drove, I held Tigger on my lap. His last car ride was a good one for him. He was always a bad traveller, throwing up, drooling, pooping. Not today! He sat/lay on my lap and was quite content. So content I questioned my decision, but I knew it was only a matter of a day or two and I did not want him to suffer any more.

Darcy and Cameron came along, too. Cameron has had Tigger in his life since he was 3 - 9 years! For Darcy, she's had him her whole life. It was a hard day for all of us.

The vet reassured me that I was doing the right thing. I was with Tigger and they allowed Mom, Darcy, Cameron and I some time alone with him afterwards. Some time to collect ourselves before having to walk out through the waiting room. We brought Tigger straight to Bum's house where Cameron and Bum gave him a proper burial. I made a little marker out of stones. May he rest in peace and chase an endless string in heaven. 

The next day Darcy altered the note I always leave on the door:

I am writing this in September, more than 2 months later, and we really miss him. Darcy was sad to come back home from the cottage and not have Tigger to bring home. I was too! Even Kevin misses him in his way. Eric (his brother cat) is in mourning. He was always a meek, quiet cat and now he caterwauls many times a day. I figure he is calling out to Tigger, looking for him. He was already an affectionate cat, but he seeks even more attention now. We have adjusted to not having Tigger always on the back of the couch to pat as we walk by. Darcy and I have gotten used to not having Tigger join us for story time at bedtime. We have Ollie at the house, too. He is a good companion, too.

Here he is on his last walk outside:
https://youtu.be/zOP847qGRSQ